Life Quotes & SayingsFunny Quotations, Inspirational Quotes, and Sayings About Life, Love, Pets and More!

Humorous Quotes About Valentine's Day – Funny Love Quotes for Valentines (Alexander Antonov Photo)

Looking for a few funny quotes about love for Valentine’s Day or another occasion? Consider these humorous quotes for a homemade Valentine card, a scrapbook or blog.

So here are the quotes of the day – funny love quotes for a Valentine!

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” ~Erich Segal

“You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.” ~Jonathan Carroll in Outside the Dog Museum

“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.” ~Aerosmith

“We don’t believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.” ~Marie Ebner Von Eschenbach in Aphorism

“Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.”     ~Unknown

New Year Quotes – Funny and Inspirational New Year's Resolutions Quotes and Sayings. (Jean Scheijen Photo)

The new year is a time for new beginnings, change and hope. And many partake in New Year’s goal setting – resolutions to lose weight, exercise more frequently, quit smoking, stop procrastinating, stop drinking and resolutions to spend more time with family and/or friends.

New Year’s resolutions are often over-ambitious. This means that goals for the new year are notoriously difficult to accomplish and often abandoned. These qualities make New Year’s resolutions a frequent topic of discussion during the holiday season – and this means plenty of quotes about New Year’s resolutions, both cynical and encouraging.

So today’s quotes of the day are both humorous and a bit inspiring quotations – they’re New Year quotes about resolutions and goals.

“New Year’s Day – Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions.  Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”    ~Mark Twain

“Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.”    ~John Selden

“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”    ~Oscar Wilde

“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.”    ~Unknown

“I do think New Year’s resolutions can’t technically be expected to begin on New Year’s Day, don’t you?  Since, because it’s an extension of New Year’s Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system.  Also dieting on New Year’s Day isn’t a good idea as you can’t eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary — moment by moment — in order to ease your hangover.  I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began on January the second.”    ~Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’ Diary

Readers who enjoyed these New Year’s resolution quotes may also want to check out Inspirational Quotes About a New Year, along with The Great Life Quotes and Saying’s site’s Funny New Year Quotes and Sayings.