Life Quotes & SayingsFunny Quotations, Inspirational Quotes, and Sayings About Life, Love, Pets and More!

Lily Tomlin is best known as an actress and comedian. But Lily Tomlin is much more than that. Sure, she’s a producer, writer, Academy Award nominee, and winner of an Emmy Award, Tony Award and a Grammy Award.

But Lily Tomlin is one other thing – she’s quotable. Very quotable.

Over the years, Lily Tomlin has generated some wonderfully satirical, funny quotes about…well, everything! There’s great life quotes, job quotes, god quotes, and quotes about the tops of our feet.

So I’ve picked a few great quotes — funny quotes — from Lily Tomlin as today’s quotes of the day. Enjoy!
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“Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?”     ~Lily Tomlin

“Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?”     ~Lily Tomlin

“If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.”     ~Lily Tomlin

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”     ~Lily Tomlin

“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.”     ~Lily Tomlin

Dogs can inspire some pretty humorous quotes and sayings. So today’s quotes of the day are a selection of funny dog quotes.

Dog owners are sure to identify with these great quotes about dogs, as these quotations and sayings go straight to the heart of what it means to be owned by a dog.

Without further adieu, The Great Life Quotes and Sayings Blog presents funny dog quotes…

“In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.”    ~Edward Hoagland

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always ride with you in the car – in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”    ~Dave Barry

“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.”    ~Fran Lebowitz

“I used to look at (my dog) Smokey and think, ‘If you were a little smarter, you could tell me what you were thinking,’ and he’d look at me like he was saying, ‘If you were a little smarter, I wouldn’t have to.’”    ~Fred Jungclaus

“You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you’re right!  I never would’ve thought of that!’”    ~Dave Barry

(Marinela Prodan Photo)