Life Quotes & SayingsFunny Quotations, Inspirational Quotes, and Sayings About Life, Love, Pets and More!

Woody Allen quotes are humorous...and a bit odd. Read on for today's quotes by Woody Allen!

Woody Allen is an Academy Award-winning director, playwright, actor, writer, comedian, musician and writer, known for his black framed glasses and his marriage to Mia Farrow. Woody Allen is known as a bit of an odd ball. In fact, only once did he ever acknowledge his Academy Award wins/nominations; he showed up unexpectedly at the 2002 Academy Awards ceremony, where he took to the podium to urge his fellow directors and actors to resume filmmaking in Allen’s native New York City following the 9-11 terrorist attacks.

Woody Allen is well-known for his wacky sense of humor, and Woody Allen quotes really reflect his unique view on the world. Today’s quotes of the day in the Great Life Quotes and Sayings Blog are Woody Allen quotes about…well, everything!

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“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” ~Woody Allen

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.” ~Woody Allen

“As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ – probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.” ~Woody Allen

“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?” ~Woody Allen

“I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.” ~Woody Allen

Dogs can inspire some pretty humorous quotes and sayings. So today’s quotes of the day are a selection of funny dog quotes.

Dog owners are sure to identify with these great quotes about dogs, as these quotations and sayings go straight to the heart of what it means to be owned by a dog.

Without further adieu, The Great Life Quotes and Sayings Blog presents funny dog quotes…

“In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.”    ~Edward Hoagland

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always ride with you in the car – in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”    ~Dave Barry

“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.”    ~Fran Lebowitz

“I used to look at (my dog) Smokey and think, ‘If you were a little smarter, you could tell me what you were thinking,’ and he’d look at me like he was saying, ‘If you were a little smarter, I wouldn’t have to.’”    ~Fred Jungclaus

“You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you’re right!  I never would’ve thought of that!’”    ~Dave Barry

(Marinela Prodan Photo)