Life Quotes & SayingsFunny Quotations, Inspirational Quotes, and Sayings About Life, Love, Pets and More!

Quotes of the Day - Funny New Year's Quotes (Agata Urbaniak Photo)

The new year is a time for change and fresh beginnings. There are a wide array of funny New Year’s quotes that poke fun at New Year’s resolutions, the holidays, holiday diets, and New Year’s Eve parties.

Today’s quotes of the day are funny New Year’s quotes and sayings – ring in the new year with humor! These quotes about the new year are great for a homemade greeting card, a scrapbook page with photos from a New Year’s Eve party or you can add a funny New Year’s quote to the family Christmas card!

“New Year’s Day – Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” ~Mark Twain

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” ~Bill Vaughn

“The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.” ~G.K. Chesterton

“A dog’s New Year’s Resolution – I will not chase that stick unless I actually see it leave his hand!” ~Unknown

“New Year’s Eve – Where auld acquaintance be forgot…Unless, of course, those tests come back positive!” ~Jay Leno

Readers who enjoyed these funny quotes about New Year’s may also enjoy New Year’s Quotations – Quotes About New Year’s Resolutions, along with Inspirational Quotes About a New Year.

Okay, so Valentine’s Day has come and gone. But there’s always a few people who are behind the ball, whether it’s Valentine’s Day or another holiday, so I’m sure these funny Valentine’s quotes will come in handy for someone!

Looking for some ideas to actually use these humorous Valentine’s Day quotations and sayings? Make your own greeting card, or add a few funny love quotes or Valentine’s quotes to a scrapbook. You can also use these great quotes and sayings as an email signature – you name it!

So, without further adieu, here’s a few funny quotes about Valentine’s Day and love!

“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”    ~Unknown

“Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.”    ~Jay Leno

“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.”    ~Unknown

“I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.”    ~Tracy Smith

“Sales ad at a store: ‘You are my one and only’ Valentine’s cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.”    ~Unknown

(Luis Lopez Photo)